White coat. Heels.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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