Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
