What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
