party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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