It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
