i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
COCAINE IS GR8
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
