i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
