I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
As shirtless as possible
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
So much rum. So many feels.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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