I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Houston, we have a blender
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
