1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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