physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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