You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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