Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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