Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
