so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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