Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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