I must be too annoying 4 u.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
