My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
