Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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