Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
