Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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