i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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