She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
