dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
