So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Randomize
