he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I still have a little drunk in my system
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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