you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
