I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
