Who wears a wallet chain?!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
