tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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