Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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