Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
