Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
