do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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