I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
