and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
