Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
