this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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