the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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