I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
so let's talk penis.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
What drink are we having for lunch?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Randomize
