She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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