Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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