So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
