woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
