Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
