It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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