i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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