i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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