I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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