Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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