shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
