i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
