every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
