i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
