So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We need a shit load of segways right now
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
