I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
wat bout pragnant strippers??
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
