She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
