Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
